Review of GBB from Adoption Today published by Adoption UK April 2010 www.adoptionuk.org.uk.
The Great Behavior Breakdown by Bryan Post
Reviewed by Jackie Grimes (adoptive parent)
I have been a fan of Bryan Post for many years now and have read all his previous books. His new book takes his particular approach to adoptive parenting and repackages it in a way that is more accessible to parents than some of his previous work.
Bryan Post is an engaging writer. He is adopted himself and was a troubled teen, so he speaks from a place of personal knowledge. His experience and empathy for adoptive parents are what make this book work — much of it covers the usual difficult behaviors that are discussed in other adoption literature, but you know he’s been there and knows what it’s like. His ideas are often challenging; he invites us to take on what he calls a Paradigm Shift’ in our attitudes to our children. He suggests that all behaviors come from a place of either love or fear and encourages us to understand the unconscious motivations behind our children’s behaviors. He explains the Stress Model (TM) which is what drives our children’s behaviors and makes them dis-regulated.
He also covers the Four Levels of Memory, explaining that 90% per cent of our emotional memory is unconscious for example, and gives us insights into how difficult it is for adopted children to operate as a result. And, perhaps most importantly, he delves into the realm of ‘Unfinished Business’ that’s OUR unfinished business, the baggage we bring to parenting based on our personal past experiences and expectations and dreams. His methods require us to look deeply into ourselves and our own motivations and possibly make changes ourselves. This is a challenging message and one which some people might find uncomfortable.
I would recommend this book to anyone who is struggling with the demands of parenting adopted children wants to try something new. It is easy to read and the format makes it simple to target specific behaviors.
Published by Post Institutes and Associates ISBN 97809840801 06