Oxytocin Parenting in Action Examples Part 2


Love Based Family-Centered Parenting takes on a dimension that once understood, matters little if a child is 2, 12 or 22. We just want to take the principles and apply generously as needed for the emotional age that we perceive in our child. So please don’t read the examples and think, “this doesn’t apply to my 15 year old”. The specific action may not, the principle does. Calm the stress, diminish the behavior. Even works with adults and even spouses! Learn more here
— David Durovy

Oxytocin Parenting in Action Examples Part 2

Let’s take a look at another Love Based oxytocin parenting approach in action with normal, rambunctious two-year-olds. Remember, the principles are important – not the age of the child. Actions will differ depending on the child’s age. Your job is to creatively apply the understanding of what is going on below the surface – what you cannot see. What are the principles at work here, and how can you apply those to your child’s age and maturity levels?

Mom takes Ethan to the park. Ethan is one of the most active and physically developed two- year-olds in the area. He immediately begins running toward the big jungle gym. Though Mom wants him to explore and be all the boy he can be, she is still worried about him falling and breaking his little neck. She feels her pulse rate begin to rise.

As Ethan runs away from her, Mom checks in with her own anxiety. She realizes she doesn’t need to run; she can walk at a quick pace to stay close to him. Ethan falls but is up in no time, still heading for the jungle gym. Mom continues to breathe and be thankful for her strong little guy. When they reach the play structure, Mom picks up Ethan and begins touching the bars along with Ethan, saying, “Wow. What a fun place to play.” She even helps Ethan to climb up onto the first set of bars while keeping a good hold on him.

Without anxiety about Ethan hurting himself, Mom is able to be in the moment with him. She is attentive to his attempts to try a little more as she maintains the feeling of safety associated with physical touch — as well as the actual safety of keeping him from falling. She is able to maintain a steady, regulated state, which enables Ethan to learn to climb in a more controlled way.

Excerpted from Oxytocin Parenting by Susan Kutchinskas and Bryan Post