4 Questions for Parents to Ask Themselves Daily

Parents, Get a Plan. Here’s 4 Questions to Begin
– By David Durovy and Bryan Post
May 20th, 2019 Read Time: 1 Min. 48 sec.

What’s your plan? Parenting is not the only thing you have to do. You have jobs, tasks, spouse, and you might also want to shower, eat, sleep, and find at least one moment for yourself.

So what’s your plan? Don’t have one? Make one. Not enough time? Make some. Feeling overwhelmed, tired, exhausted? Stop it. Get some support. I know this is easier said than done – but it is still a choice. Your choice. Choose. Similar to flying safely, put your ‘oxytocin’ mask on first before you help your child with theirs, or you may not be there to help them. Don’t think you are essential, or important enough? Think again.

You are not going to do a great job at parenting if you are not fully present. The Post Institute offers a foolproof plan for parenting challenging adopted, foster, and diagnosed children – unconditional love. (Hint: this works for all children, people and even animals but is essential for challenging children).

Love needs you to be fully present so you can be a channel for it for those around you. Stress causes constriction and constriction limits flow. Want love to flow into your life? Calm the stress. Breathe. Relax. Let it go.

Worn out? Discouraged? Sick and tired? Family falling apart? Marriages in trouble? Parents, We have been there. There is a way to get out of this alive. But it begins with you, not your child. You are the adult. You know better. You set the thermostat for your family.

Don’t know where to start? Take some advice from a dear friend Joshua Rene founder of a Design Thinking Agency, The Spill Team, who offers four questions to help you with any plan.

Stop talking and consider what you can do to…

Start? What can you start doing?

Loving without expectations or agenda;
*asking questions;
*Understanding the needs of ALL the individuals – including yourself;
*Empathizing;
*Ideating & Energizing the people in your family

Stop? What can you stop doing?
*Loving conditionally, (if you do this then…)
*Solving problems before listening;
*Overwhelming your children, spouse and yourself;
*Behaviors that interfere with forward movement;
*Rushing the process

Keep? What is good to keep doing?
*Love as the most powerful tool in your parenting toolbox above all;
*Asking your children what they need;
*Lending support and input;
*Focusing on deliverables with measurable steps (What can you do, not what should you do);
*Helping to take care of yourself. This you must choose to do.

Need? What do you need now to continue?
*Let love do its stuff. Trust it;
*Self-care, professional development, personal development;
*Time and Boundaries;
*Strengthen relationship, empathy, and understanding
*Aligned vision with spouse/partner that incorporates what needs to be done and get on the same page.

Now you take these 4 and ask yourself what can you do: Start, Stop, Keep, Need. Repeat daily.

Bryan says, choose love. I add to that, choose to LoveMore
– David Durovy

David Durovy was the director of The Post Institute for 10 years. He now writes articles for it. He is the founder and Director of The LoveMore Institute, a nonprofit dedicated to helping people move toward becoming “more fully human” enlarging their capacity to love more. Learn more at The LoveMore Institute, read The LoveMore Blog or contact David here.

Get your free copy of Bryan’s best selling, trauma informed parenting book, “From Fear to Love” while supplies last. www.feartolovebook.com