Become a Master Parent: Your Training Begins Now (Pt.4)


Become a Master Parent: Your Training Begins Now by Bryan Post (Pt.3)

The Return of Wise Teachers #1

Now that the team is certain their student has learned sufficiently they go back to the wise teaching couple and plead the student’s case. “He’s all ready this time” they exclaim and look at one another feeling confident. The couple is hesitant because every since they sent him away they have been feeling so much better about their own past spy training, remembering once again the ways of the masters, and enjoying the experience of oxytocin in their relationship. Once the amygdala of the teacher has settled back down and ceases to send so many messengers, then the past teaching of the hypothalamus is able to return to its learned state. Thereby the teacher is coping better with stress, answering the signals of its partner, and responding appropriately. For awhile all in the system seems back to normal. The world is at peace and no longer at risk.

The thought of bringing the student back into their now settled life sends secret messengers coursing into the world, but their hypothalamus is back to action so their counteragents step up and receive the reactions with the appropriate response. They look at each other feeling calm, smile, and feel confident. “Okay,” they agree, “sure we’ll give him another chance”. The team is ecstatic. Their young pupils training will continue once again.

All is back to as it should be or so it would seem.

Brain-TransitionWhen the student returns to the home of the teaching couple all is quite well for a couple of weeks but slowly the students amygdala begins to send out messengers and the teachers have to help the student respond. The first couple of training exercises go well: the student feels frustrated by not being able to master the skate board and throws it across the yard, banging and toppling right into the side of the car, leaving a scar on the front fender. The father recalling lesson #2: Remember to breathe first and foremost, takes in deep breaths, engages his hypothalamus and engages the student in a manner that is firm yet compassionate and understanding. “We’ll figure out this car door at another time,” we affirm as they walk away from the distressing situation with his arm around the student.

The mother teacher also is adept and ready when the student resists getting up in the morning for school. Staying focused and mindful she begins the morning routine with him still in the bed. In a non-threatening manner she engages his amygdala messengers with her own powerful hypothalamus messengers and sits on the side of the bed while stroking his hair and humming a pleasant song. She says to him, “Oh I used to hate getting up in the morning for school too.” His amygdala messengers are strong though as you might recall, they don’t listen easily because their attempts to deliver their message has been rebuffed too many times. He kicks at her and screams for her to leave his room. She slowly gets up and goes out of the room giving him space to settle down. When she returns, this time in a more firm manner she says, “I know this is not easy for you but we are going to get through it. It’s gonna be tough, but I believe in you”. The untrained eye could hear this expression as being harsh, but the master teacher is able to wield their words and control the emotion behind them. The statement is expressed emotionally with presence and peace of mind. This gives it the power of oxytocin communication. “Well I don’t believe in myself and it’s so early, why do I have to do this?” he pleads. Without responding to his question, of which she knows there is no good answer, she says, “Here are your clothes. Do you need me to put them on you?” He laughs, “I don’t think so. Don’t be stupid”. Now she laughs, the master teacher is not the least concerned with verbal expressions, “Okay, but I’d be happy too. What would you like for breakfast? She asks as she moves toward the door.

As the days continue the teaching becomes more challenging. Thankfully our master teachers are not prone to repeating the same mistakes twice.

Next: Enter Wise Teacher #3
Coming Next Week – Become a Master Parent: Your Training Begins Now (Pt.5)