Getting Started

Based on the number of calls, emails, Facebook questions and comments that we receive, we are constantly trying to come up with ways to offer help to struggling families.

We would love, and I mean really love to offer individual care, answers and a comforting shoulder to lean on to all our struggling parents. The bad news is we don’t have enough shoulders. My friend Steve Bhaerman likes to say, “the bad news is there is no key to the secret of life. The good news is the door has been left unlocked”.

So what does this wisdom really mean? Simply put, the answers are all around you. But you do have to look. Many of the questioners we hear from have not visited our free stuff, read any of our books, not watched or listened to any materials, yet they are desperately in need of help. But often, rather than doing their own homework, hurting parents just want one simple answer to their question which seems to come down to ….How and How Right Now?

We offer many tools, but as someone once said , a fool with a tool is still a fool. I know this to be true from experience. I often try the parenting tool of choice without the wisdom and understanding to really make it work. And it doesn’t. I then assume incorrectly that the tool doesn’t work. So how does one graduate from Fool-dom? Work. Study. Practice. Fail. Learn. Practice. Fail. Learn…etc.

I know of many parents and professionals who devour everything they can get their hands on. Then there are others who we could not pay enough to get them to read, watch, listen to, study, practice, learn, fail etc.

The really good question you might want to ask (yourself) is which one are you? Once you answer that, the next step become clear. Either start reading, watching and listening to what is already available, or figure out what is working, what is not working, do more of what is working and stop doing what is not working. I know there are parents out there who have “tried everything we offer to no avail”.

I doubt it. I don’t doubt that you may believe that you have tried everything, but that you have actually DONE everything. What is often the case is that we have done everything that we can handle from the paradigm that we are in. And when we reach that edge, we call it quits. I see this in my life, in the families of those that I know personally, and in the parents who contact us.

I recall asking Bryan Post this same question after Susan and I first attended a Post Parenting Boot Camp many years ago – How do we actually put all this great stuff into practice, when, even though it looks good on paper, can’t actually get past our own emotional baggage and let go of the old stuff? What the heaven do we do???? And I love this stuff. I read it, listen to it, watch it, study it and still have difficulty. Yikes! What’s a mom and dad to do?

Simple-Read, Listen to, Watch, Study, Practice, Fail, Learn, Practice, Fail, Learn --> Repeat Daily.

I know that there are many reasons why this simple formula won’t work. But there are many more reasons why it will work. Try it. Or rather, don’t try it, live it. Bryan often says to parents who say, “I tried that”, it’s not about trying it, but living it.

‘Choose love’ is not something you try, but something you commit to and work toward and fail daily at. It’s ok. Do what you can, not what you can’t. It will make a difference. I promise.