Why We Get Angry At Our Kids What To Do About It Pt. 2

Annoyed, Irritated, Miffed, Angry?

If you read Why we get angry and what to do with it – Pt. 1, here is the follow-up we mentioned was coming with help to better understand the effects of anger and especially suppressed anger on our body/mind systems. It’s not that anger is “bad” but handling it poorly it does come with a cost if not handled properly. We all experience it, let’s just learn to how to “do it” better.
How To Never Get Angry: 3 New Secrets From Neuroscience

If you read Why we get angry and what to do with it – Pt. 1, here is more to help better understand the effects of anger and suppressed anger on our body/mind systems.

How To Never Get Angry: 3 New Secrets From Neuroscience. Eric Barker, the guy behind the blog Barking Up the Wrong Tree (his site brings science-based answers and expert insight on how to be awesome at life and has been featured in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Wired Magazine and Time Magazine) has done a wonderful job helping us find options, understanding and alternatives to our fits of anger that do more harm than good. His article appeared in Oct 2015 and is worth spending some time reading and looking at the links he provides. His focus is research based information and he provides the footnotes to back it up. Make sure you watch the Marshmallow Test video – inspiring and entertaining.

Anger Can Be Healing
Imagine realizing that anger and other emotions can be healing — and that by suppressing them we are actually doing damage to ourselves. Suppression works he says but,.. “The good news is suppression works. You can bottle up your feelings and not look angry. However…It’s almost always a bad idea. Yes, it prevents the anger from getting out, but when you fight your feelings they only get stronger.” Whoa! And further, “What happens in the brain when you try to clamp down on that rage? A whole mess of bad stuff. Your ability to experience positive feelings goes down — but not negative feelings. Stress soars. And your amygdala (a part of the brain closely associated with emotions) starts working overtime.” Well, we know about this amygdala stuff — the fear center for freeze, flight or fight. Who wants more of this?

Give Up The Fight Before It Starts

Want to learn how to decrease the power of your reactive amygdala? Give up the fight. Barker says, “fighting your feelings uses a lot of willpower. So afterwards you have less control and that’s why you’re more likely to do things you regret after you’re angry”. Eric give us plenty of science to show how destructive suppressing our emotions can be (and the same for our children) and offers some excellent help for learning to manage (stop venting and start reappraising and more) the darker side of ourselves. Read it all right here…